Whenever I think about atoms and electrons, frequencies and how everything around is a dance of tiny parts, I feel amusement over the miracle of human beings and terrified by the lack of meaning in it all.
Those who believe in the law of attraction tend to talk about energy levels and how we can change things by “putting ourselves on different frequencies”.
I am skeptical about these things, but it always fascinates me how we tend to behave when we are out of balance.
Our struggles are our learning ground. I find them beautiful. I no longer believe in having “a good way” of doing things or dealing with situations.
For a while now, I feel like I have found my balance. Since I stopped the comparison game, I became more tolerant and flexible with situations that are handled different from how I would want to handle them. I also learned to appreciate really paying attention in such situations and learn.
When someone appreciates you as much as to summarize something in a very simple, honest way, opening a window to where they are in their dance of balancing, the biggest gift as to return the gesture is to listen and hear them.
We should never forget that we are a well-balanced dance of atoms, particles and waves. Even when out of balance, this dance is magical.
Ben Howard – A Time & Space Machine
It was almost freezing cold in the morning, so I left my bike home and hopped on public transport today. Changing my route, I was pleasantly surprised that I can get to work on a double decker bus. I felt like a child again. 🙂
Morcheeba – Enjoy the Ride
Be your hero tomorrow.
I saw an interesting TED talk by Mark Adams about becoming productive and overcoming procrastination. You can watch it here. He comes up with the idea of change not being continuous but we become someone else over time.
According to another YouTube video explaining David Ams’s theory of how you don’t need more than two years to reach your goals, it is your will power and consistency that brings you forward, of course having long term goals with short term actions planned.
When I think about my journey that led me to Berlin, I feel both ways. By the end of my second year here, I already felt more content than I had been in Hungary before leaving. I had a long-term goal (to find happiness and my way towards music here) and I did my best to deal with the first steps it takes to move abroad.
Whenever I hear the argument that people are leaving Hungary “for the sake of adventure”, I wish whoever thinks it is easy could be put in my shoes for a while. To give them first hand experience what it is like building a safety net, finding yourself, figuring out who you can and want to be, playing by the new rules.
On my eternal calendar I saw a very smart quote the other day: “Luck is nothing more than preparedness meeting opportunity.”
I believe you can build your own future. I believe it takes hard work. I also think it is OK and necessary to adjust your dreams and goals based on where you got, and how you(r new self) feels. Becoming your better self is relative. Only you can judge where you stand and who you want to be. After all, it’s all expectations you are raising for yourself.
For now, I am happy to be me.
Foo Fighters – Best of You
October 27 – my moving to Berlin anniversary.
I was helping a friend to move a bed frame tonight. What a perfect spontaneous opportunity to celebrate this anniversary! I really enjoy my time in Berlin.
3 years ago, I moved here with a big suitcase, big dreams and a lot of enthusiasm. Today, I hardly can believe how my dreams came true and I am thrilled for the new challenges ahead of me.
I not only found a new start, but I found a new Home – with amazing friends, an incredible family, who still support me from the distance, inspiring colleagues, many opportunities, a scenery I can not get bored with, concert possibilities that make it hard to choose from, and a lot of interesting people I got to know over the years.
I hardly could be happier.
THANK YOU. For everyone, who made my 3rd year as amazing as it was. I hardly can believe how much has happened again – new job, new friends, 2 half marathons, 3 countries, West Highland Way, and a lot of visitors.
I look forward to see what the 4th year brings.
Happy, thank you, more please
Queen – A Kind of Magic
I like to know what’s ahead of me. It doesn’t mean I don’t like surprises and I also know that things won’t always turn out as we planned them. Yet I find it calming to know what the options are, more or less.
I lately started to realize how much simpler my life has become since I’d let go of worrying. Even in unexpected situations, after a minute or two of letting tension arise, I usually find a way to put that aside and plan how to deal with the situation, breaking it down to tiny steps that I can start with. Then following one step after the other, it is always a nice and proud moment when I all of a sudden realize that I just got over something I never had to deal with before.
I still have some work to do, because usually after finding the solution, tension comes back in the form of exhaustion – but that’s relief.
Sometimes it’s the tiny things that make life way easier. Filling the washing machine with dirty clothes so they are out of sight and ready to roll the next morning, washing the dishes so you don’t have to look for a clean plate in the morning, taking down the trash to feel cleaner.
When these tiny bits become a habit, you get free from the mental clutter that holds you back. You may even have moments when you feel lighter. I like that feeling.
Fkj & Masego – Tadow
Milestones present themselves in many shapes in different times. It could be a hard decision you managed to finally make, a farewell, a first-of-its-kind task at work, a randomly chosen dinner that introduces you a nice new restaurant.
Life is full of miracles. Depending on how you are playing it, you will pass several milestones. Some of them you’ll remember, some of them will only become milestones when you remember the good times. Enjoy the challenges while you are at them. You never know which challenge will become a memorable milestone.
Low Roar – In the Morning
I’ve been a good friend in several situations this week. I have friends who trust me to lean on me sometimes, and I have friends I can lean on. I feel lucky to be in balance and I love my friends.
Even though relationships are changing all the time, strong and honest connections are one of the miracles of human nature. I am happy to have some of these connections in my life. Happy, thank you, more please!
Groove Armada – My Friend
We had a spontaneous round at the vet with my dog tonight. I never saw him as weirdly moving as tonight, he seemed to have fever and some issues with moving. He is all fine, and probably just found some bones or stones to chew on, but I was quite worried when I got back to him after a perfect dinner tonight.
However, I am proud of both of us.
After some hesitation and googling, I found a 0-24 phone number to call, talked to a vet and got some advice which animal clinic to visit. So we went to Marzahn to have him checked. We didn’t have to wait at all, both the vet and his technician were super nice and helpful, they investigated all possibilities and came up with a plan. They took a blood test and a x-ray and explained that most probably he found some bones to chew on or maybe a piece of rock, that could cause him some trouble.
About 30 minutes and over 200 Euros later I realised I managed to handle this whole situation in German, actually understanding what the doctor told me and with no doubt about what the next steps were.
Báró was a hero, letting them do all the tests. I am proud of ourselves.
On the other hand, I would be glad to practice my German outside of ERs next time.
The Chemical Brothers – Hey Boy Hey Girl
Sometimes you don’t even realize and you change. Sometimes change comes with a strong feeling. Sometimes it’s frightening. I’m glad I can be of comfort in such situations sometimes.
The Cinematic Orchestra – Arrival of the Birds & Transformation
Even though I spent the whole weekend by myself, I really enjoyed my time. I was quite efficient, yet managed to rest well. I feel gratitude for all I have.
While decluttering today again, I realized I have so many good memories and everything I need. I have some very dear friends, I have challenges, I do something I believe makes sense workwise, I am getting to know interesting and smart people.
I wish everyone knew this feeling.
Angus & Julia Stone – Heart Beats Slow