Track of time

Some days just run by.

Anna von Hausswolff – Track of Time

That I would be good

We set ourselves up to our own expectations. Often times we let these expectations numb us. But at the end of the day, none of them make a difference in what and how we do.

There are certain things that can be measured. Like the Earth overshoot day, that happened yesterday this year. That’s a fact. We can feel bad about it, or not care. At the end, our reaction doesn’t matter. Whether or not we carry this as a priority with us during our day-to-day chores is what makes a difference.

Then we have the huge and shiny expectations about the perfect love. A picture that was drawn in our heads since our childhood fairytales. When we feel like we have to live up to that expectation, that can be scary. We might end up feeling broken or unworthy. But at the end of the day, love only exists unconditionally. Fitting it into shapes and forms is just a human behaviour. It’s either there or not.

We also tend to come up with scenarios in our heads. If this and that happens, then I would feel this. Or then I would feel relieved. And then it never comes.

Apples and pears should never be compared. As well as expectations and deeds.

I choose the present and unconditional love, with all its vulnerability. In addition, I feel grateful to have love to give. That’s more than enough.

Alanis Morissette . That I Would Be Good

In between

A lack of closure is something I work on accepting better. It’s tricky. Anticipation, assumptions, expectations, patience that needs to be practiced.

At the end, while we shape our own Fate, whatever happens happens. We learn from it.

Having friends who make you forget about your worries and feel like time has just stopped is priceless. Thankfully, I have found some amazing peeps.

The Doors – Take It As It Comes

Balance and honesty

Sometimes, even joy can be scarry. Other times, it’s the lack of joy.
We tie ourselves to our past experiences. Of course, that’s how we learn. Then magic happens, and instead of believing in it, we prefer to become safe players. We stop trusting ourselves. And sometimes, when we play the safety player card, our eyes tell the rest of the story. There lies the beauty.

Sometimes, speaking up makes magic a hazard. But when it is met with understanding, then it’s like fresh air.

I am happy, thank you. More, please.

Shawn Mullins – Beautiful Wreck

Illusions

I was thinking about the narratives we tell ourselves about life and how impossible it is to have a shared experience. What can be put into words is limited in itself, not to mention we don’t always speak up.

No one will know my reality. As I will never know anyone else’s.

At the end of the day, we all live in our own fantasies.
The magic happens when we manage to really share a moment. Just a split second, when we both experience the same, feel the same, and think about nothing, but enjoy the moment.

The rest is in our heads.

The Soil – Unspoken Words