Make it through

Support and caring. I’m lucky to have both. Tonight, I got to die in bed a little while longer, while Báró still got his evening walk.

I fell not only asleep in that moment.

Anything could come now. I have the best team.

Ray LaMontagne – We’ll Make It Through


Sometimes it takes a whole day of hard work to accomplish nothing.
But now we have 3 days off.

Thank God it’s Friday.

Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande – Rain On Me


Don’t forget to take care of yourself and protect yourself. Sometimes, it’s as simple as not feeling bad for doing nothing. Just give yourself time and compassion.

Massive Attack – Protection


He is the voice of reality and risks. He taught us the importance of a firm handshake and that it doesn’t matter what others think. That we can still live up to our standards. To be grateful for that piece of chocolate before opening it. He is the reminder that the World is not organized around you. But that you matter.

He raised us well and firm, first creating and guarding a bubble, but then making it flexible enough so we could make our own decisions. Until this day, he never hesitates to voice doubts or risks, but he’s always there to support you, no matter what you chose.

He’s turning the wheels in the family. And he has turned 65 today.

Apu, boldog szülinapot! ❤

Led Zeppelin — Thank You

Over and over again

I am so lucky.

I have an amazing family, even if far away, an angel-like dog, great friends, a job, a safe home, and a partner in crime who acts as my human shield if need be. I am young, healthy, have access to clean, running water and nurturing food. I have working days and weekends with off times. I am free to do whatever I want, with certain limitations.

Yet I feel trapped since this pandemic started.
Trapped, because the borders are closed. Because travelling is limited. Because nothing we know today would stay like it is for granted tomorrow. Because my fears hold me back from doing simple things like drinking a cup of coffee by the lake. Because I haven’t been home to visit my family this year yet, and I don’t know when I could do that. Because I don’t know how it would be, if finally I could visit them.

I know that after this is over, looking back, it will be a short temporary discomfort, as in the scope of our lives this will be only a short period of sacrifices.
Yet there are days, when I want to stop the World and escape.

Fortunately, I have the support of my family and friends, and a partner in crime, who can make me laugh so hard I forget all my worries.

I just wish this anger would go. The one that keeps showing up and tearing me apart in the inside over and over again.

I try to keep singing like there’s no tomorrow. One step at the time. Sometimes I am stronger, sometimes I let go being strong. Luckily, I have a safety net that I can let myself go with.

Asaf Avidan – Earth Odyssey

Joining You

I love this song ever since I first heard it. The depth of the lyrics, the strength of the voice. Today, I connect to it on many levels.

Those who know me know that I believe we are temporary arrangements. We live, we learn, we cross each other’s paths and sometimes we walk together.
You choose who you walk with. Who you share good and bad with. Who you suffer and share joy with. Who you let go and who you let gone by.

I think there’s power in choosing. Even when you can’t be sure whether you jump on a train or join a train crush. You choose what you are willing to risk and who you are willing to risk it with.

I try to choose my temporary arrangements with an open heart, ready to get wrecked if that’s how it ends. Some temporary arrangements even worth a crush.

But the best ones are the ones that stick with you, holding you space to heal and grow.
I’m joining You.

Alanis Morissette – Joining You