Joining You

I love this song ever since I first heard it. The depth of the lyrics, the strength of the voice. Today, I connect to it on many levels.

Those who know me know that I believe we are temporary arrangements. We live, we learn, we cross each other’s paths and sometimes we walk together.
You choose who you walk with. Who you share good and bad with. Who you suffer and share joy with. Who you let go and who you let gone by.

I think there’s power in choosing. Even when you can’t be sure whether you jump on a train or join a train crush. You choose what you are willing to risk and who you are willing to risk it with.

I try to choose my temporary arrangements with an open heart, ready to get wrecked if that’s how it ends. Some temporary arrangements even worth a crush.

But the best ones are the ones that stick with you, holding you space to heal and grow.
I’m joining You.

Alanis Morissette – Joining You

UR

I was present today. In the office, for the very first time. It was a weird new re-start, that I am hoping will help me loosen up.

Until then, I’ll just remain grateful for phone calls that can turn an exhausting day better.
I am starting to see myself from others’ perspectives and I learn from what I see there.

I remember this saying: “I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.”

They say many things. That I am a maximalist aiming for perfection. That I underestimate my skills. That I know a lot. That I am strong.

I am learning to believe them.

Alanis Morissette – UR

Change of plans

After the cancelled concerts and the half marathon I was planning to run, today I was notified that the MegaMarsch planned for the end of August is also going to be at least delayed. I still have a concert ticket in Hungary for September, but other than that, my plans have been cancelled or delayed until further notice for the year.

But this is temporary, and we will be over it at some point.

In order to distract myself, I buried myself into data about the Pacific Crest Trail. This summary of the survey results from the past years I find extremely resourceful. Check out the Pacific Crest Trail Survey on Halfway Anywhere’s blog.

For a nice contrast to that, I just realized what a new perspective Alanis Morissette’s video for Thank You gets in times of the Covid-19 epidemic. I haven’t watched this video for a long time, but tonight, the empty streets at the end hit me.

Don’t forget that you are one of the lucky ones, consuming this content from a safe place, not only having shelter, but with the internet, remaining connected to the World.
Be thankful.

Alanis Morissette – Thank You

Core

“Developing our sound culture is our own responsibility.” – Calibrating our moral compass is, too. Even though there are a few values we as humans all should share, there’s no one size fits all when it comes to our priorities and focus.

I think we live in a World where real connections are rare, partly due to poor communication. Easy judgement, jumping into conclusions and bad timing can all be a reason why. Patience is a rare virtue.

So is unconditional love. It’s so easy to project our bad experiences or gut feelings at someone we don’t really know. But if we’re really honest, we must question if we really know anyone. – Have you ever surprised yourself?

Most of us have a very loud narrator inside, explaining our life experiences. It can be encouraging, forgiving, but subjective at all times. We tend to relate more to what’s familiar and reject things easier from a whole different, unknown perspective.

“Once everybody starts looking at one another as a brother, a sister, a human being, beauty will spread as wildflower.”

It would solve a lot of our problems. Until then, we can only change us and use our time wisely.

Alanis Morissette – One

 

That I would be good

We set ourselves up to our own expectations. Often times we let these expectations numb us. But at the end of the day, none of them make a difference in what and how we do.

There are certain things that can be measured. Like the Earth overshoot day, that happened yesterday this year. That’s a fact. We can feel bad about it, or not care. At the end, our reaction doesn’t matter. Whether or not we carry this as a priority with us during our day-to-day chores is what makes a difference.

Then we have the huge and shiny expectations about the perfect love. A picture that was drawn in our heads since our childhood fairytales. When we feel like we have to live up to that expectation, that can be scary. We might end up feeling broken or unworthy. But at the end of the day, love only exists unconditionally. Fitting it into shapes and forms is just a human behaviour. It’s either there or not.

We also tend to come up with scenarios in our heads. If this and that happens, then I would feel this. Or then I would feel relieved. And then it never comes.

Apples and pears should never be compared. As well as expectations and deeds.

I choose the present and unconditional love, with all its vulnerability. In addition, I feel grateful to have love to give. That’s more than enough.

Alanis Morissette . That I Would Be Good

Great companions

I have found many likeminded friends and colleagues in Berlin. The fact that we come to the same conclusions and approach solving issues from different perspectives, yet, with the same aim if reassuring.

I love, when we connect. It’s always a great reminder of the unbearable lightness of being. We are in this together. Don’t ever forget.

Alanis Morissette – Joining You

One year

Today was my last day in my first year at work by this company. I was on a roll today.
However, I felt exhausted in spite of the nice feeling winking at me that I had achieved something. I looked around and felt somewhat old among my colleagues. But I also felt lucky. It’s funny how we can feel so many things at the same time and yet feel senseless.

Fortunately, I have found some good friends among my colleagues who have open ears if needed. Tomorrow is Friday and then I will rest. Bring on the weekend already.

Alanis Morissette – One

You live, you learn

My dear friend, Teona! You just got one year wiser and what a year it has been!
You have made some drastic changes in your life and found your way back to Berlin – I am so happy to have you here again – thank you for all the great memories!

Stay silly. Brilliant. Positive. Worried. Young. Carefree. Open. Curious. Stay You!

Don’t forget: You live, You learn. 😉
Nagyon boldog szülinapot! – La multi ani! ❤

Alanis Morissette – You Learn